


You see Sire, it happened like this

by lunawolf8074



Series: dwarf shorts [27]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Donkey - Freeform, Other, Poor Thorin, Sexual Content, fili/kili are mischief makers, mine shafts, misundrstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5661754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunawolf8074/pseuds/lunawolf8074
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~Imagine having tell king thorin how a situation came about by an advisor that involved his nephews, Nori and you.~</p>
            </blockquote>





	You see Sire, it happened like this

It was just another day like the rest in Erebor for King Thorin...the same complaints from stiff necked bureaucratic idiots..the same courtly dances-evasions from overly eager women thinking they should be Queen Under this Mountain...it all seemed the same everyday. The only thing that wasn't the same was whenever it involved his nephews Prince's Fili and Kili and Lady (Y/N)...for some reason whenever these three got together the whole mountain got turned upside down. Neither of them meant to cause trouble it just always seemed to happen...something that should have been safe for anyone else for some reason went the opposite for these three. Like that time when the bridge had collapsed and left a group of dwarrows trapped for a few hours on the other side of the chasm until a bridge was built swiftly. (Y/N) had seen a small little girl who had a quivering lip and a tear in her eyes because she was afraid they would be trapped forever on the other side...so (Y/N) had decided that she needed a stuffed animal to cheer her up...which made sense and seemed safe enough to provide, but it was the most dangerous thing to happen. 

Thorin shuddered at the memory of the incident...after she got the toy she tried to figure out how to get it to the child and that's when she noticed a catapult off to the side. Now why there was one in this area still couldn't be explained to the King...it just for some reason to be there. (Y/N) decided she needed to deliver this gift personally to the little girl so she quickly climbed aboard the contraption and without any qualms or second thought she pulled the lever...launching herself into the air. She could feel the wind blowing through her hair...a feeling of lightness coming over her and a song bubbling up from inside as a scream from the ground could be heard.

"I believe I can Fly..I believe I can touch the sky" then just as suddenly she felt herself beginning her descent..opening her eyes she saw herself coming closer to the ground ...cloaks materializing as the people stretched their coats out to catch the flying woman...then ~WHOOSH, THUMP~ she landed safe and sound on the other side. There was a loud roar from where she had just come from and turning around she saw King Thorin standing at the edge breathing hard...(Y/N) smiled and waved at him as she rushed over to the awe struck child to hand her the stuffed toy..making the girls eyes light up in delight at this little treasure.

"(Y/N)! We are going to talk when I get over there young lady...You here me! You are in big trouble!" (Y/N) shrugged ..she didn't know what his problem was...after all she landed just fine and now a little girl was happy and no longer sad. It took less time than what was quoted to the stranded for the bridge to built..(Y/N) thought it may have broken a few records in speed building of bridges...she was so proud of Thorin in his concern for his people..wanting them all safe and sound. Whenever he came stomping her way she just smiled in delight at him and threw her arms around the storm clouded man..crowing out delight that he made it.

"Wow Thorin. You are the best King ever!. Look how fast you all built that bridge just so your people could be joined once more!" Thorin had just opened his mouth to scream at her but was stopped by her words and the cheering of the crowd...sighing with a groan he hugged the woman to him and waved at those gathered before him.That had been several months back and Thorin still had nightmares about that incident...it was just one of many it seemed.

Today was turning out to be a typical day in Erebor as Thorin sat down for dinner in the communal dining hall..a part of his mind wondering where his two nephews could be since it was dinner time and trying to deal with a overly eager dwarrowdam who kept batting her eyes and making cooing sounds at him in an attempt to charm him...her hoping maybe into her bed, but Thorin knew it was a lost cause..he wasn't interested in her. His interests laid in a certain (H/C) haired and (E/C) eyed woman who seemed to keep him on his toes with her shenanigans. He never spoke of his desire for (Y/N) and he never will...in his mind he was to old for her and she was so young ..he was always to serious like a storm cloud while she was like a the wind always dancing around with laughter swirling through the room each time she entered. But at night Thorin would dream of her..his mind would conjure images of her smiling up at him whenever he came home in the evenings after a long day of council meetings..or her holding a beautiful child in her arms as she cooed down at the sleeping infant..and then there were the dreams of her upon his bed with arms stretched out to him...beckoning him into her embrace with a seductive smile upon her sweet lips. Just as Thorin's mind began to recall his dream from last night he was disturbed by a young man running up to where he sat...breathing hard next to him.

"Your Majesty....We have had an incident that has occurred..." Thorin sat up straighter to hear what he had to say...something about his demeanor told Thorin that it wasn't life threatening...which only left one other thing that could cause this type of behavior...Fili, Kili, or (Y/N).

"Which one was it?" he waited to hear the name...not prepared for the answer when it came.

"All three and Nori...King Thorin." in that moment Thorin felt dread creeping into him...one maybe two made him cringe..but all three combined with Nori was enough to make him want to cry...or just chug a whole barrel of ale.

"Oh Mahal...what happened?" seeing Thorin rubbing a hand across his face in worry made the poor young man want to try and ease his kings stress.

"Well, see sire, it started with a donkey..then there was a lot of fabric...then there was this shaft...and then (Y/N) said" you can't put that there, that's the wrong hole" and Kili said " watch me" and there was alot of noises ... "Oh by Mahal! Thats huge!"" I don't think that will fit in there" Kili shouted"Ouch! Careful how you use that" and Nori could be heard saying"hold on ....almost...another inch"" by this point Thorin went from looking afflicted to livid with anger..the poor messenger took a step back in fear as Thorin stood up and his roar echoed throughout the room filled with dining dwarrows.

"Bring them all to me! NOW!" eyes of the room saw Captain Dwalin bowing to the King as he left the room to bring those involved before the King Under the Mountain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

King Thorin sat upon his throne , his piercing blue eyes peering down at the ginger haired dwarf kneeling before him...periodically they would gaze over at his two nephews and (Y/N) who shuffled nervously off to the side. His eyes caught Nori lifting his head as the uncomfortable silence stretched out a bit until finally 

"King Thorin...I never intended for this to happen. This was all a mistake that occurred...surely this can all be put behind us..like it has been for Fili and Kili?" Nori gestured to where Fili and Kili were standing...Thorin's eyes caught Kili trying to discreetly rub his backside as if he was in pain. Throin shot a glare in Nori's direction at the mention of behinds and he snarled at him...Thorins face becoming red in anger...Nori leaning back on his heel in confusion.

"Don't talk to me about putting this behind us...Spymaster Nori. What you have done is unforgivable and is punishable by death." Thorins eyes missed the confused looks upon the trio off to the side...his focus only on the man before him who gave him a look of disbelief...which only furthered the burning anger inside the King. 

"W..what?" Nori sputtered, holding out his hands away from him.

"Don't look all innocent there...you know your crime." Nori shook his head..eyes pleading for an answer...Thorin snarled out loudly that echoed all around the room that everyone could hear each word perfectly. "YOU DEFILED PRINCE KILI!" Nori's eyes went wide and he began to tremble there...vigorously shaking his head...shock and fear written all over his face as he stared up at Thorin in absolute disbelief.

"I...I..I never touched him... not him..ever. I...." Thorin suddenly stalked down the stairs and grabbed Nori's shirt to pull him closer as he spat out.

"Your telling me that you defiled the woman I love ...the woman that could.. be... MY QUEEN!" his roar whipped around the room...leaving those gathered stunned at his secret declaration coming out in the open...especially (Y/N) whos mouth dropped for a moment until she saw poor Nori going white as Thorin went red in rage. She realized if something wasn't done soon then Nori would be dead ...soon....so she quickly stepped over to Thorin who's eyes snapped to her approaching form.

"Thorin? Do you mean that? Do you really love me Thorin?" her hand touched his arm that had Nori's shirt in a tight grip...his eyes going wide as he realized what he had said out loud...his grip loosened on that shirt and he turned towards her. Throin tried to speak but his mouth just wouldn't work so he mutely nodded his head and she gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen before. "Men lananubukhs menu gonnaz khuzi (I love you my powerful warrior)." slowly her hand reached up and laid along his cheek...a twinkle coming into her eyes as he reached up to softly stroke her face with his fingers. 

"I am sorry ghivasheluh (my treasure of treasures)...I should have protected you better from this vile act ...." suddenly (Y/N) began to laugh ..her peels of laughter floated around the room and left him a bit confused. After a few moments she calmed and taking a deep breath she stared into his blue eyes.

"I am fine..nothing vile has been done against me amralime (my love)." Thorins brow puckered in confusion and as he opened his mouth to speak she laid a finger on his lips to silence him. "Let me explain. This has been blown all out of context it seems, so lets me explain." he nodded and waited.

"It happened like this Thorin. Master Bofur had found a cave that was filled with beautiful crystals that glowed like blue stars in the dark...so he told Fili about it and he thought that Kili and I would like to see it too so he had us all meet at the market square at the second afternoon chiming...Nori showed up at Bofurs invitation. We all met there at the appropriated time and as we were about to go we heard a commotion going heading our way. Looking over we saw a donkey that had escaped from his handler running through the marketplace out of control leaving a path of destruction behind him in his wake. We decided that we could help capture the creature and stop his terrified flight...so we gave chase. That poor creature saw us running behind him and he ran faster..not paying attention to his surroundings and that's when he ran straight into a cloth merchants stall..toppling over a stack of bolts of cloth and thus becoming entangled." Fili stepped forward towards his uncle.

"We tried to help the poor thing but I guess we frightened him more, because he broke free and ran...with cloth wrapped around him and trailing the bolts behind him as he ran into the mines. We trailed him down there and eventually we found a small cavern with the cloth on the ground...we could hear the beast braying down in a lower tunnel and we realized it must be injured down there.We knew we couldn't let it stay there..we needed to get it out...so it was decided for a few of us to go down to help it up...Kili was the first to go." Kili grinned as he walked over..a slight blush on his cheeks.

"I grabbed some of the cloth ..tying it off and went over to the hole, but (y/n) told me it was the wrong hole..there was a better one that was easier for us to go down to the level where it was...except I wanted this one, so giving her a wink I went down. Fili and Bofur stayed up so they could pull up the donkey...Nori and (Y/N) went down with me. It was all wrapped up in the strips of cloth ...legs all twisted in knots of cloth. There was this particularly huge knot and (Y/N) cried out "That's huge" ...well we three were trying to un-knot it..which was very hard, it left us sweating and grunting with the efforts...at one point (Y/N) doubted that we could fit the poor beasts hoof through the knot and she said told us it was to big and would not fit so Nori pulled out his knife to cut the cloth off but the creature kicked a bit and the knife stuck me. I hollered for him to be careful....all he said was "One more inch." he finally cut it off and we were able to free it from its bindings. We decided it would be best if we used the cloth to pull the creature up so quickly tied it around his middle and Bofur and Fili hoisted it up." Fili began to laugh as he picked up the thread of the story.

"After we got it up we sent a rope down to them and when they came up all we saw was these three looking like they had a rough go of it..clothes skewed and torn in some place on them..hairs messed up and they were all sweaty. If we hadn't known better we truly would have thought they had been up to something else. But we do know better." (Y/N) touched Thorins hand to gain his attention once again...he shook his head as he felt a headache coming on.

"So this ...all of this was because of a misunderstanding?" Thorin could feel a laugh trying to bubble out..he held it in.

"Don't forget the bolts of cloth.." Kili piped up.

"And the market.." Fili pointed out.

"And the donkey." Nori finally spoke up ..after shaking off his near death experience at the hand of a good friend. Thorin turned to him..an apologetic look upon his face as he held out a hand.

"I...Nori, I am sorry for my actions. I should have asked you instead of assuming. Can you forgive me my friend?" giving the ginger haired man an abashed look...feeling him taking the offered hand within his own.

"Of course. I would of done worse if we were reversed. I understand." Clapping his hand on his kings shoulder... then watching as Thorin enclosed the woman he loves into his arms..pulling her close to him. Blue eyes gazed deeply into (E/C)...a slow smile upon his face.

"So, (Y/N). Will you do me the greatest of honors and become my wife...My Queen for the rest of our lives?" with a sweet smile she dragged his head down to her own.

~YES~


End file.
